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Never in my life I'd felt this pain before. It's like thorns poking my heart for millions of times and yet, I have no strength to stop them from hurting me.

My heart ached. It still aches now. Tears did not behave well. They came streaming down my face on and on until my pillow was wet. Even when I woke up this morning, it was still so painful for me to live a normal life again. The damage is done. And all I can do now is wait, wait for the wound to heal by its own.

Still, I can't help but to ask; why do you have to put me through this?

.........

3rd Monthsary

Yesterday, was supposed to be another darn boring day. Since morning, I had been watching dramas; two episodes of Korean drama- Personal Taste, one episode of How I Met Your Mother, and one episode of PS Man. Aiya.. What else I can do right?

By 5 something, I went and played my piano after not touching it for so so long. Suddenly, my love rang me up. I thought he just wanted to talk to me or what. But then, he sounded so suspicious. Hehe. Finally, he told me that he was going to come. I was so excited that I didn't even think of anything else, but him. And, I seriously thought he forgot about our 3rd monthsary as he acted being forgetful just too well. Uhh!

After everything was "clear", he drove to the front of my house. I opened the car door and was shocked by the bouquet of roses. Haha! Can't believe my love is such a romantic person. I love you so much, my dearest sayang! How sweet of him for preparing such a big surprise for me! ♥

Addressed to Ms. Lee Joe Jian. :D

Sayang-menyayangi.. Hehe!

♥

I love the white roses. He said, it means innocent love. :)

Innocent roses for innocent me?? LOL! *shiok sendiri*

Relive my business!

Hello guys! Don't forget to click on my small little handmade business on the right side of my page. ^^

Thanks.. What a shame

Finally, my mom gave me money to buy my Nikon D90 DSLR.

The money didn't come easy. I knew. She worked hard in the past few months to earn the money for me to get it. Every piece of note paid for this camera aches my heart. I feel so ashamed of myself. To get me something that I need for my course, I had to put so much burden on my parents. My dream is accomplished because, because and because of my parents. Paying that darn bloody expensive fees, paying that darn expensive camera, giving me extra ++ allowance just because of the shopping temptation in me in the past few months and my carelessness of losing my own wallet last week*,.... those are definitely not the reason I am born in this world.

*I overspent until I spent all my own savings.. Besides, because of my carelessness, my wallet was stolen/lost/dunno what dunno what. Money flies here and there. I was so darn broke. But, because, because and because of my considerate mom who gave me ++ allowance, my financial problem is settled...... I feel so malu now. Why do they have to be responsible on my irresponsibility? This sucks! I sucks!

*ROAR*

I prohibit myself from getting ANY clothes in these few months.

I prohibit myself from eating too much of expensive food (like as if I am born in a DARN BLOODY RICH family).

I prohibit myself from having Starbucks more than once in a week.

YES! I am saying this for real. Slap myself if I break any of these.

The Queen and the Soldier

The soldier came knocking upon the queen's door
He said, "I am not fighting for you any more"
The queen knew she'd seen his face someplace before
And slowly she let him inside.

He said, "I've watched your palace up here on the hill
And I've wondered who's the woman for whom we all kill
But I am leaving tomorrow and you can do what you will
Only first I am asking you why."

Down in the long narrow hall he was led
Into her rooms with her tapestries red
And she never once took the crown from her head
She asked him there to sit down.

He said, "I see you now, and you are so very young
But I've seen more battles lost than I have battles won
And I've got this intuition, says it's all for your fun
And now will you tell me why?"

The young queen, she fixed him with an arrogant eye
She said, "You won't understand, and you may as well not try"
But her face was a child's, and he thought she would cry
But she closed herself up like a fan.

And she said, "I've swallowed a secret burning thread
It cuts me inside, and often I've bled"
He laid his hand then on top of her head
And he bowed her down to the ground.

"Tell me how hungry are you? How weak you must feel
As you are living here alone, and you are never revealed
But I won't march again on your battlefield"
And he took her to the window to see.

And the sun, it was gold, though the sky, it was gray
And she wanted more than she ever could say
But she knew how it frightened her, and she turned away
And would not look at his face again.

And he said, "I want to live as an honest man
To get all I deserve and to give all I can
And to love a young woman who I don't understand
Your highness, your ways are very strange."

But the crown, it had fallen, and she thought she would break
And she stood there, ashamed of the way her heart ached
She took him to the doorstep and she asked him to wait
She would only be a moment inside.

Out in the distance her order was heard
And the soldier was killed, still waiting for her word
And while the queen went on strangeling in the solitude she preferred
The battle continued on