Phobophobia

Fear of having phobia. That's me. It seems to be a daily thing to remind myself that I should get rid of whatever fear I have because I don't wanna be feared by anything. And yet, the negative consequence is that I became even more fearful of everything. It terrifies me, the fact that I couldn't calm myself down. So serious that I have to keep praying "namo amitabha" to fall asleep, to make myself forget about the anxieties and stress. Even if I managed to fall asleep, in my dream, it's always the things that I am feared of appeared in my dreams. The fear of being punished, being nagged, being scolded, lost of someone/something important, unable to complete my assignments, being harassed, as so on so forth.

Ok. I think I need some therapies. :/