Fear of having phobia. That's me. It seems to be a daily thing to remind myself that I should get rid of whatever fear I have because I don't wanna be feared by anything. And yet, the negative consequence is that I became even more fearful of everything. It terrifies me, the fact that I couldn't calm myself down. So serious that I have to keep praying "namo amitabha" to fall asleep, to make myself forget about the anxieties and stress. Even if I managed to fall asleep, in my dream, it's always the things that I am feared of appeared in my dreams. The fear of being punished, being nagged, being scolded, lost of someone/something important, unable to complete my assignments, being harassed, as so on so forth.
This semester started with so many scary stuff. I can foresee how dead I will be in the coming weeks already. Zz.. So far, the subjects are very interesting. But I somehow can feel that I might not have enough time to do the best for all. *sigh* Why do they have to put so many challenging subjects in one semester? Are we even half a robot?
